A Table for ME

I brought me to the table. Correction – I bring me to the table everywhere I go.

I’m an overly eager, competitive person that wants to do everything for everyone while learning everything.  I’m an analytical, questioning, detail oriented, creative spirit who values fairness and accountability. I am direct. I ask a lot of questions. I will always want more time to see if I can solve it another way. I am a recovering perfectionist.

Yep – all of that and a little fairy dust on top! I’ve learned a lot skill wise and interpersonally. I want to share that because I hope that my experiences and knowledge will be able to help one of the greatest generations to succeed in whatever their professional endeavors. Because I know that transitioning into adulthood seems easy but really comes with a lot of questions that have “It depends” answers that lead you to more questions. Because constantly working to be the best at the best and know even the things you don’t know can become overwhelming. Because being told you are a leader and an example to your peers when you’ve been winging it with google and your bff makes you feel like you have GOT to be missing something. #inhaleexhale

All that to say...here are a few of the important ones. I'll share more as we continue on this journey.

Lesson 1:  Being right doesn’t mean you win

Sounds completely ridiculous – especially when you add logic, carry the one and divide life into a race. This might have been and still might be one of the most difficult things for me to accept. There is a cognitive disconnect for me because aside from being the loudest, being the rightest meant you won every argument in the playgrounds that I grew up in.

What I learned in real life is that sometimes people sacrifice the trophy of right for things that help build relationships, create leverage for future encounters or simply because the ROI to prove said rightness wasn’t high enough. The road to right isn’t always paved or maybe it is paved with silk stones…the best lesson to learn is how to find the right solution for the circumstances. That means consider all of the factors (present, past and human) in your decision making process.  Sometimes right will win, other times good for this situation will be the victor.

Lesson 2: Questions are better than assumptions

So what I’m saying here is that I know I just told you something that I know you heard because you just referenced said hearing but instead of me assuming that you heard what I know you heard; I’m going to ask a question to clarify that you heard what I know you heard to ensure that you heard what I said.

Yep…alladat

I learned this is beneficial for two reasons – first, it is a non-aggressive way (as long as your question isn’t aggressive) to remind someone of information that they “should” know and allows them to take direct ownership of that knowledge share/gain in the current conversation. But even beyond that; it provides a new opportunity for information gathering that could be useful for many reasons – LIKE asking for an extension on a project that you just received inspiration or that breakthrough on to make it groundbreaking. NOTE: I do not recommend or endorse procrastination, lying, missing deadlines for irresponsible reasons or not being awesome.

Lesson 3: Resilience can hurt

In an article written by HBR, Resilience was defined as the ability to recover from setbacks, adapt well to change, and keep going in the face of adversity. It goes on to discuss the drivers that diminish resilience reserves and is a good read but back to this hurt. Resilience can hurt your ego, your pride, your self-esteem and your feelings. How so you say? Because at the heart of resilience is failure and adversity and even if you pull your big boy/girl pants up and get back in the fight – sometimes falling hurts – AND THAT IS OKAY. If it didn’t hurt, it wouldn’t be this amazing trait that organizations are searching for in their next generation of leaders (that is you). Just be mindful of what you say when you fall, once you are on the ground and as you get up.

I say all that to say – bring you to the table everywhere you go but remember that there are other people at that table that need permission to be just as them as you are you. The lessons that life teaches us won’t always align to our beliefs but it doesn’t mean they can’t help us navigate in #professionaladulting.